Life doesnt always turn out the way we plan, actually it rarely ever does. When I was 16, if you would have asked me where I would be when I turn 23, this would not be the picture I would paint for you. I probably would have said "23? I will be long gone from here. I will definately be married, and probably have at least 1 kid. I'm going to be living in New York changing the world one day at time", my 16 year old self would also think money grows on trees because an actual job wasn't in my picture perfect future. I don't know why or when it happens, but change is inevitable. You wake up one day and wonder how you got here, or more about how you didn't get somewhere. I know I do everyday. I don't have many regrets, just curiousity of a different choice. I often wonder where I would be if I hadn't moved back from San Diego. I was struggling and I was a mess, but I was a person... a real person. Back here, in this town, and this house, i feel unreal, unhuman, like I have no control over the life I am supposed to call my own. I wish I could tell my 16 year old self to never question that hope and faith in a fairy tale world, I would say to stay the strong and motivated person that I was, and not to let hard days and negativity drag me down. (I would also say to rock that body I had back then!) Because life goes by so fast I woke up the other day and I was 23 years old... some say so young... that may be true, but to me, in most parts of my life, I am just... too old.
This is not a sad or depressing post, just a quiet night of thinking. There is so much in this life I want to accomplish, I just need to find the steps to get me there.
...Good Night (brianna and bridget...my only readers!)
